Can you make an abusive partner change?

Many professionals will say that it is possible for an abusive partner to change, however there are no quick fixes, and would need months of direct work with the perpetrator. Often the thought of losing their family hastens the abuser to make false promises that they will seek help to make some changes, this is often meant at the time; but the underlying reason is usually a means of keeping the victim in the abusive relationship.

Consequently, no changes will be made, and the victim remains in the relationship, wishing things could be different. To make some real changes, the abuser needs to be accountable for their own actions and acknowledge the abuse, and genuinely commit to changing, and can put the abused partners feelings and need to be safe above their own feelings.

Change is possible, but it’s very difficult to do, and will take a great deal of time. If you are in an abusive relationship at this moment you deserve to feel safe and respected. You really cannot make someone change unless they truly want to. You can make the decision to move on with any support you may need and learn to love those who deserve your love, but for now love yourself. You are loveable.