My Story – PART 1

Many of my new friends, or professional colleagues are not aware that Domestic Abuse affected my life in a way that I would not have believed 20+ years ago.I am a woman aged 50+, I like to think positively and it's true to say that without being in a violent controlling relationship, I would not be the strong independent woman I am today. However, I still wish that I was stronger back then and ensured that I had got a non-molestation order and made him pay for what he did to me. If only for the sake of my 5 children who despite this, have all grown up to be ok adults, and those with children take the role or parenting seriously. It is hard at first, to make the first steps, but now there is so much help available. Back in my day, I did attempt to get my ex-partner to face what he had done to me, to be told by the judge that he wishes woman would not approach the court for what he called, a ‘lovers tiff’. Another time I was upstairs covered in bruises, the police officer stayed downstairs and just talked to my abuser, just calling upstairs, ‘was I ok’? Of course, I said I was fine, through fear of what would happen if he left. I understand too well the difficulties of simply being able to function, let alone to gather the strength up to fight, your way out of a toxic relationship. I would like those who are in an abusive, controlling relationship to please get the support you need to get out of the relationship, as your partner does not hit or control you because he loves you, he will not change, he/she will get worse because you are allowing it. 25 years on, I am no longer, controlled or abused, by a perpetrator who clearly could see my vulnerabilities, being a young single mother. I moved to a woman’s refuge with 4 of my 5 children as my oldest son aged 14 at the time, was deemed too old for a woman’s refuge. Without a good friend taking him in, I might have stayed who knows. I used to be able to tell how my day would be depending on what he was like in the morning, I knew immediately I had to walk on eggshells as if I said the wrong thing, there would be consequences. Does this sound similar to your experiences? #familycourt #cafcass #mackenziefriend #courtwork #childcontact #domesticviolence #domesticabuse #domesticviolenceawareness #emotionalabuse #abuse #narcissisticabuse #narcissist #survivor #gaslighting #toxicrelationships #divorce #domesticviolencesurvivor #abusiverelationship #legalaid #childcontact #parentalalienation #childabuse #nocontact #domesticabusesurvivor #mackenziefriend #dhfamilyandcourtcolutions1