Promises

If someone mistreats you all the time, it is easy to understand that the relationship is not right. This is not usually the case, after all your partner was very loving before, right? He will soon go back to how he was, but in fact it gets worse, and your friends and family often see what is going on and ask why do you put up with it? and why don’t you leave?

Many people who have not been in abusive relationship before, cannot understand that abusers aren’t necessarily abusive all time, and certainly we

re not in the beginning. An abuser can be charming, for this reason many victims stay remembering the good times as they get progressively fewer charming moments.

The abuser will often make promises to change, this gives hope to the abused partner that this time things will be different, when in fact the cycle of abuse goes round and round.

It is possible for change but if the abuser continues to put their own feelings before your own, make you feel that it is all your fault, call you names, be abusive either emotionally or physically, it is not likely.

There are programmes to help, but the abuser will not be eligible for the programme, until they realise what they are doing is wrong, and want to change for no other reason.